Dude Looks Like a Lady
by LunaOculi
Summary: "This dare was stupid. This dare was outrageous. This dare was degrading. Percy Jackson and Jason Grace would never kiss one another, especially dressed like..." A quick one-shot of our two Camp Leaders doing the embarrassing. contains; Cross-dressing, Jason/Percy, and slight crack if you squint. See? Crack. I sort of dropped it on the way to Doc Manager.


**This is a random One-shot I did out of boredom while in the process of writing "Bleach Beasts".**

**WARNING: CROSS DRESSING, YAOI! SLIGHT CRACK!**

**Cheers! =)**

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This dare was stupid.

This dare was outrageous.

This dare...was _degrading._

It was a nice afternoon though, going on dusk, with the sunset casting vibrant rays of colours across the scene like Indie photography. It turned the scarce strips of clouds above into pink and purple fairy floss. The blue sky beautifully whipped with a blend of orange and and other warm colours. The air was crisp with sea salt and clean from any/all pollution for they had parked their flying vessel (Argo II) on a small island for the day. The small island was paradise straight off the pamphlet: "_Enjoy sunny skies with uninterupted views of the rainforest and vibrant blue-green sea! Indulge in hours and hours of fun and games as you wait for your godly parents to tell you were to go next! And guess what? It's 100% Monster-free! Book now in your local Demi-god Camp today! It's _all_ without fee! Just make sure to depart from this lovely place tomorrow midday or the whole world_ will end_!"_

The seven half bloods from the prophecy sat in a circle on deck, with only two of the teenagers standing up.

"I hate you," Percy growled at Annabeth, face as red as his..._piece of attire._

The son of Poseidon pulled down at the ends of his holter-neck dress as it began to ride up his embarrassingly hairless legs. The boys were laughing at him, the girls were blushing like crazy. And laughing as well.

"At least your's has something to keep it up," Jason mumbled.

Jason stood beside him, pulling at the top of his tight dress - the same as Percy's except blue and no holter.

Annabeth rolled her eyes, but her teasing smile was so firmly imprinted into her red face she couldn't swipe it off.

"C'mon guys, you know the deal-io. It's spin the bottle and if you don't kiss the person it hits, you both have to cross dress!"

"Yeah but this is _'round three'!"_ Jason cried.

Percy nodded, eyes wide, "Yeah! And the bottle landed on...landed on...landed on _me! _When_ Jason _spun it!"

Another eye roll, this time from Piper, "Yeah, round three. We started off with round one; cheeks. Then Round two; lips. And now, round three; tongues."

Percy and Jason share a disturbed look. Percy hated this dress. It was so tight, because it came from some Aphrodite girl who stacked them away in Pipers backpack. With out permission. Thing was, the girl was a size too small for Piper, who is about another size too small for Percy and Jason. And now here they both stood, instead of looking like Mighty Natural Leaders and Big Three Demi-Gods, they looked like drag queens in glossy Christmas wrapping.

"C'mon. Percy! If you guys kiss for 2 full minutes using tongue, you can loose the dress," Annabeth assured.

Pffft. As if Percy Jackson_ or_ Jason Grace were gonna kiss a dude...right?

Well, sadly, what you don't realise is that these dresses were _beyond_ uncomfortable. The seams were itchy. The silk was tight and restraining around their waists, like corsets. Oh and the _heat,_ the embarrassment had made them sweat, which had dampened the material under neath their armpits, and down their spines.

Oh and don't get _either_ of them started on the **_stiletto's_**.

As an understatement of the year - It was unpleasant and_ icky._

Finally, body at 100 degrees, Percy caved in, "Fine! Anything to get this damned thing off!"

Jason looked at him horrified, like he had grown a second head and announced all this time he was a monster,

"Are you serious?"

Percy gave him a pleading puppy dog look, "This is absolute Hades."

Piper squealed eagerly, clapping her hands. Leo and frank opted to covering their faces as Hazel coaxed them to _'go on, then.'_

The Roman And Greek leaders look at each other, slowly inching closer.

"Come on! Hurry up, get closer! Might wanna hold each other too; so you don't end up falling over or something."

"Oh sweet Hephaestus just tell me when it's over," Leo mumbles behind his hands, Frank grumbling behind _his_ in affirmation.

Oh gods. Percy has been known to do some humiliating things in his life, but_ this;_ kissing a fellow Demi-god Dude with both of them clad in tight silk dresses. This will take the dough straight off the platter.

He gripped the railing of the ship in one hand as they both closed in, eyes squeezed shut. _Tight. _Percy felt Jason's breathe on his face, the make-believe touch sending unreasonable shivers through Percy's furnaced skin. He somehow felt Jason's face close to his, maybe it was his body heat? He felt his close proximity as a shadow, or something. A few cm away from touch down.

Gods, he didn't want to do it, he didn't want to do it, he didn't want to do it, he didn't want to do it...

So why was his heart thrumming so fast? Oh god, he is so close he practically_ is_ kissing now, Jason's lips brushed the wispy hairs of Percy's faint, teenage, developing moustache.

Why is this so exciting? To both of them?

Next moment they're lips are _finally_ pressed together.

and Houston, we have lift off.

When their mouths met, their bodies followed soon after, hips pressing into each other.

Their lips moved in a sensual rumba, palms gliding up waists to hook on shoulders, which wasn't a part of the dare...

"Oh, wow," whispers...someone...over there...somewhere. Neither of the boys cared.

Percy was pushed against the railings, gods Jason was such a good kisser. Finally their tongues slipped past the seams of their juicy lips. The rumba just went_ tango_.

Percy hooked a leg around Jason's waist, the crimson dress sliding up to reveal a lithe, swimmer's thigh.

Jason moaned when the hands on him pressed into spots on his hips, his shoulders, his neck. Spots that he wasn't entirely sure existed and sent impossible heat flaring in his blood, yet somehow getting goosebumps everywhere.

Than a thought hit Him with the force of a racing hell hound.

He was kissing a dude.

Percy was making out with a dude.

He knew that somewhere in the masculine side of his mind, he should be grossed out - completely repulsed - by those words. Instead, he was filled with a sense of giddiness. It was like being a little kid stealing candy from a store without getting caught; It was like being a curious boy sitting at his laptop and finding out what all this 'porn' business was about; It was like standing in the shower - curiosity itching at his mind - and masturbating for the first time.

It was the high of doing something…naughty.

Fingers came up to tangle in black hair, as the kiss became noisy; wet sounds of them eating each other's mouth resonating in their little world of chemistry.

Jason pulled away first gasping in air as Percy tried to come in for more. The moment their lips were no longer magnetised, how ever, they were shaken out of their bewitchment. Percy stopped breathing. Jason pulled away, stuttering.

Annabeth held the timer in one hand, her mouth fallen open in a wide 'O'. Piper and Hazel were the same. As for Frank and Leo, they didn't dare pull their hands down.

Annabeth cleared her dry throat and said, "That...was seven minutes you two; you only needed to do it for 2, you know."

Oh, yeah, Percy remembered hearing a faint beeping sound somewhere in the middle of squeezing Jason's...

Percy blushed, and kept his hands away from him as if they were diseased.

"Well," Hazel squeaked, before coughing awkwardly, "At least you can take the dresses off now."

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**Yup, that's it! have a fun life! =P**

**Luna.**


End file.
